Where Oh where do we go from here????

May 20, 2007

Dear hangin

First of all thank you very much for being very patient and tempered with me. Second of all, I’m very sorry for complicating “uncomplicated” things between us.Sorry also for putting wordsinto your mouth or even putting blame on you .

The things happening around me are making me change my decisions. Advice now from people working with me say its best for me to get out of this clinic soonest I can. The fear and concern of whether I should listen to them or stay on for another year atleast leaves me so confused. Compounded by the worries of dad’s health and what ifs….I am learning it the hard way, “learning to be a grown up and taking all the responsibility for my actions”. I know am not alone in all this because I have you to stand by my every decision and for that, I feel am very lucky.

I know that the decisions that will come out of our talks will be faced by both of us together and that should be comforting.

Before I go on any further, let me tell you that I still want to work abroad than in the Philippines, given the following:

You are willing to go wherever we are together, 2ndary na lang what you really want for yourself
thinking of our future, that anywhere is still better than home because of the economic and political climate there
my dad’s health will deteriorate whatever I do so will plan & go on w/ our lives .i will have to learn to accept that whatever I do with my life, my dad will also want for me a better life

Having decided in doing so, I will now have to choose whether I will renew the contract here or not. With things not getting any better in the clinic, with everyone wanting to leave,  and with daddy's health worsening, I will choose to tender my resignation to exit by November. It would be best that before I leave KSA, since we have the intent to come back, I must establish my contact and contract for future employment. If a good opportunity comes up, we will see.

For now I will try to look at my job situation and plan as this and hope I don’t get rattled again by any other events for now.

Honey, you are right, ako lang naman talaga ang pabago bago sa ating 2 . I have to think straight without muna the emotions. I believe ito rin naman yung nasa isip mo as I gathered in our talks kaya again, hon, so very sorry for everything.

I love you very much…..your queen